Love, According to: Greer

Love, as according to Greer Durham: Accepting someone for who they are, being with them comfortably, unconditionally.

She may be a casual serial-dater, but she says she is always looking for a long-term relationship.

“It's either I'm not fit for that other person, or they're not fit for me, or we want different things,” Durham said. “I come in pretty strong with like, OK, this is what I want, and if you're not going to give it to me, leave.”

Dating has become an entirely different experience for many people like Durham during the pandemic. Meeting people in organic, everyday situations is increasingly rare and dating apps have become the most convenient of options.

Durham compares her experience with dating app rendezvous to blind dates that you have set yourself up on, with no frame of reference into the kind of person you're meeting.

Though she has been on many of these “blind dates,” the struggle to find love during the age of COVID-19 has opened Durham’s eyes on how she views dating.

“I have had such a horrible time during COVID with dating. Not going to lie, I usually have a hard time dating normally, but COVID made it so much worse. It’s so bad,” Durham said.

Durham said her personal experience with dating during COVID-19 could be summed up with one experience in particular:

“I had been talking to this guy and we had gone on a walk date, and then we were planning to meet up. Then we got an email from the Chancellor this semester saying to limit all activities until like February 8th. And he was like well, ‘I don't want to meet up with you until then, because I don't want to get in trouble.’ And I was like, OK, and then he never really messaged me back after that. Well, OK, sounds good, awesome!” she laughed.

Because many people are living in an isolated manner to stay safe, Durham feels there is more of an urgency to find a partner.

“I've been really lonely and depressed, and there've been times when I've been inside for days on end. It's been like trying to fill this void that it might not be a relationship that you're actually looking for, but you just need to find something to make you feel something,” she added.

One month ago, after using dating apps frequently since July 2020, Durham decided to delete them all.

“It was just a speedrun of going from guy to guy to find what I was looking for,” Durham said. “I just wasn't satisfied with what I was getting and I was like, well, OK, if this guy doesn't work out, you don't have to keep doing this anymore. I was really tired and just very defeated. And I was like, you know what? You can't go on dates the way you want to because of COVID. It just doesn't feel right. You can stop if you want to.”

When things didn’t work out between Durham and the last guy she dated, she decided it was time to fulfill her pact.

“I deleted all of my apps, and I've just been chillin, pretty much,” she said.

Durham says her mindset towards dating during COVID changed when she started taking things more seriously. She added she will “100%” be bringing that mindset with her once the world returns to the “new normal” post-COVID-19.

“I need to be a lot more mindful of why I'm dating, because if that is the case then I am wasting my own time, and I'm wasting this other person’s time,” Durham said. “So I think just being really aware of why am I going on dating apps? Why am I going on dates with this person? Why am I continuing to go on dates with this person? What do I want? Just being aware.”